Swallow Irritation ... before irritation swallows you and become more centred - Dada J P Vaswani - Appeared in Speaking Tree on 15th December 2012
People today seem to be on a treadmill all the time, on the move all the time, running, running, running — and still in the same place! Rush, rush, rush! Executives are jet setting across the globe. Visiting customers in Nigeria today; meeting with bankers in London tomorrow; trade conferences in Buenos Aires the day after; off to Chicago for a new collaboration afterwards.…
Hurry, hurry, hurry! Mothers are virtually on rollerskates, dropping children at school, going off to work themselves, attending meetings, calling on doctors and bankers, plumbers and electricians, attending to household chores and managing servants. Under these circumstances, is it at all surprising that we are constantly prone to irritations and annoyances? One of my friends, who is a doctor, said to me that many of his patients come to him with sudden outbreaks of high blood pressure. Outwardly, they are calm, dignified individuals. But inwardly, the daily frustrations of life are taking their toll on them!
Snap Dragon Syndrome
By giving in to irritation, we allow our energy levels to drain; our efficiency drastically lowers; and we also lay ourselves open to worse problems that are sure to follow. Have you seen the comic strip where an irate driver kicks the flat tyre of his car — and then howls in pain as his foot is sprained by the kick? Irritations are inevitable. We are going to encounter them wherever we are, whatever we do. If we are wise and mature, we will learn to handle them without paying a heavy price in terms of frayed nerves and acute emotions.
Sheila and Sita are colleagues at a government office. Sheila is late for work one morning, and Sita passes a sarcastic remark about some people who observe their own IST-Indian stretchable time. Sheila is livid, and carries the irritation with herself all day. When she goes back home, she scolds her children and goes to bed complaining of a headache.
When we focus our mind constantly on irritations, we only allow them to linger on and become festering annoyances. The trick is to snap out of irritations and recover our calm and serenity. Better still, we should learn to block out irritations altogether, by adopting a tolerant, calm attitude towards people and events. Sheila can try to be on time. She can find out why she is always running late and plan to overcome tardiness.
Rohan was the assistant manager of the front office of a hotel. A woman had checked into one of the deluxe rooms. Each time she met Rohan, she would shoot off a list of complaints and demands; she would in general make life tough for him. Rohan had to grit his teeth and put up with the client, who was beginning to get on his nerves. He spoke to his mother about her one night, when he went home. “Be patient with her, son, and send out a prayer for her when she annoys you,” advised his mother, who was a wise and compassionate woman. “God knows what’s bothering her, poor soul!”
Rohan decided to follow his mother’s advise. He listened patiently to the woman, attended to her complaints and arranged all that she wanted. A week later, she came down to settle her bill. “I hope you found your stay pleasant ma’am,” Rohan said to her. “We do hope you will come back to stay with us whenever you are in this city.”
An Objective Attitude
To his shock, the woman burst into tears. “Oh, I hope I’ll never, ever come back here,” she said with a sob. “My former husband, who deserted me years ago to run away with another woman, was in the hospital, dying. He asked to see me, and I had to come here so that I could bury the bitter past and help him die in peace. But it has been too much for me! He is dead now, and I must go back and allow my own wound to heal!” Rohan was startled to realise that while he had been battling with the petty irritation caused by her behaviour, she had been passing through a terrible emotional ordeal.
Learn to have an objective, detached and dispassionate attitude to problems. Try to understand why some people behave as they do, and you will find that their behaviour no longer upsets you. It is human tendency to want to hit back at whatever - or whoever - has annoyed you. But it can be an even more satisfying experience when you control your resentment and become the master, not only over yourself, but the situation. See how your life changes for the better.
